Meeting and falling for someone who meets your desires is quite exciting. In most instances people do have expectations about their partners looks, behaviour, career, financial stand point, etc.
This is what motivates falling in love and believing that have found “The One”. Unfortunately, each person has a history when it comes to relationships. Not everyone was the one who dumped but others got dumped for multiple reasons.
It is human nature to not ask or dig about someone’s past especially when you are attracted to them. This is a big contributing fact to finding yourself stuck with someone who is not worthy of your love. The notion that a woman /lady is supposed to succumb and obey her man/partner, lays down the foundation for abusers. When you love someone you automatically respect, support and care for them unconditionally. Forced respect under dictatorship is not healthy and should not be accepted.
When you find yourself feeling anxious, scared, worried or even panicking when you are thinking about your partner, you need to know that something is off. Most abusers have narcissistic tendencies and are good with covering up their actions. Hiding behind the tradition, culture or society’s expectations, beliefs and norms, is one of the strategies that are commonly used. Living in South Africa has made it easier for one to be aware of what is the right and wrong behaviour and treatment. Most of the time there are signs called the “Red Flags” that one notices on their partners. Because of feelings and expectations, it becomes easy to ignore the signs. Being made to report your every move, change how you dress, being told to hang out with, how to carry yourself, might seem romantic at the beginning and make you to lose focus. Love is meant to be shared and still remains the best gift of all. When you love and appreciate yourself enough, you will easily know where to draw the line and put yourself first. Boundaries are very important in every relationship to avoid blurring the lines. Standing up for your worth is simply a way to secure your emotional and mental sanity. When pain, disappointment and hurt becomes the order of the day, turn off the main switch in your heart and move on!
